Thank God I'm a Country Boy
by ladyleonie
Summary: Gabrielle goes back to the farm to pay Ares a visit


This is a fluff piece stemming from the episode "Old Ares had a Farm".   
There are no spoilers in the story ,except for the fact he is  
living on a farm, but you know that already from the  
promo's. So her goes...Hope you like it!  
  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own them, I don't profit from  
them..so don't sue me!!  
Rating: R (a little lusty roll in the hay)  
Characters: Ares/Gab and some farm animals. (not what  
your thinking) g  
Archive: Take it if you want it. Just let me know  
where I can come visit it sometimes.  
  
"Thank God I'm a Country Boy"  
  
ARA ARA AROOOOOOO!!!!  
  
Ares sprang up off the bed and covered his ears. "By  
the god's! I will never get used to that infernal  
racket."   
  
ARA ARA AROOOOOOO!!!  
  
"Shut UP!!" Ares screamed out the window, as he tossed  
his well worn boot at the offending rooster. A loud  
thud, followed by a grunt of pain, sent him stumbling  
out the door.   
  
Lying half conscious on the ground outside, was a very  
embarrassed bard.   
  
"What the Tarturas did you do that for?" Gabrielle  
yelled.  
  
"I was aiming for the cock!"  
  
Gabrielle raised her eyebrow and looked down at her  
lap and then back at Ares.  
  
"Ha! Ha! Very funny. You know what I meant. Now tell  
me something. What are you doing here? Come to check  
up on the poor helpless ex-god of war?"  
  
Gabrielle stood up and dusted herself off.  
  
"Actually, yes, that's is exactly why I'm here. It's  
been three months since we left you here and I just  
thought I would come see how you are doing. Excuuuse  
me for caring!"  
  
"Caring? Pity is more like it. Poor Ares! He is so  
helpless now that he is mortal. I better check and see  
if he needs his ass wiped or something! Puleeease! I  
am not a babe, Gabrielle. I CAN take care of myself."  
  
"Zeus,Hera and Hades! You just can't be nice to some  
people! Sorry I stopped by!"  
  
Gabrielle went to mount her horse and leave.  
  
"Wait, I'm sorry." Ares walked over and put his hand  
on her knee. "I'm sorry, alright? Come on in and I'll  
let you fix me some breakfast."  
  
Gabrielle was always a sucker for that little grin of  
his and quickly dismounted.  
  
"On one condition."  
  
"What's that?"  
  
"YOU gather the eggs."  
  
  
Ares came back inside to find that Gabrielle had  
changed from her warrior garb into her little farm  
girl outfit. The little blue top left little to the  
imagination and the skirt. Well the skirt was a source  
of unlimited entertainment, whenever she bent over to  
do something. Too much time alone there on the farm,  
had left him as randy as a goat and his little sword  
strained at its sheath from the picture she presented.  
  
The sound of eggs hitting the floor brought her  
attention to the returning Ares. She had to stiffle a  
laugh, when she saw the chicken feathers laced through  
his hair.   
  
"Chickens still getting the better of you, I see."  
  
"You think this is funny, dont you? Well laugh it up  
Blondie. Oh, by the way. I like my eggs scrambled" he  
grinned as he tossed one of the eggs at the now  
giggling bard.  
  
The egg cracked Gabby right between the eyes and the  
fight was on!  
  
She returned fire with a lump of bread dough, that  
landed on top of his head.   
The rest of the eggs came flying like missles as  
Gabrielle dashed under the table. Scooping up the  
shattered pieces,she tossed the running yolks back at  
him.   
  
Several minutes later the duo sat side by side  
laughing at the havoc they had raised. Bits of dough  
and egg dripped from every corner of the room, as well  
as themselves.   
  
Gabrielle went to wipe a particularly large glob of  
dough from Ares face and their eyes met. The laughter  
died in their throats as another emotion took over.  
The pent up attraction they held for each other, broke  
from its prison as Ares captured her lips in a fiery  
kiss.   
  
Neither one, spoke a single syllable as they  
impatiently tore the others clothes away. The chaos  
created by their little food fight, was nothing  
compared to the shambles left by their fevered  
lovemaking. The two rolled around on the floor through  
the muck and mess. Kissing and stroking every inch of  
flesh with their bodies joined together as one.  
  
  
After several hours of alternating vigourous and  
languid sex, the duo passed out from exhaustion.  
  
Ares felt a warm tongue licking his neck and groaned  
"Again? Geez, Gabrielle where do you find the energy?"  
When he went to lace his hand through her hair, he  
found a wet nose and tangled fur. His eyes opened in a  
flash to find his dog instead of his bedmate.   
  
"Horace, you mutt, get off me" he growled as he pushed  
him away and looked around for Gabrielle. She was not  
in the house, but he could hear her humming outside  
and went out to join her.  
  
He found her beside the barn emersed in a makeshift  
bathtub. Slowly he crept up behind her and was just  
about to pounce when...   
  
"Care to join me, Ares?"  
  
"How did you know I was there?"  
  
Gabrielle turned around and smiled at her lover.   
"The smell of rotting eggs of course."  
  
Ares wasted little time joining the amused bard in the  
tub. He nearly jumped back out when his body felt the  
now cold water.   
  
"Don't be such a wuss!" she giggled as he settled in  
front of her.   
  
Using some scented soap that she always carried with  
her, she lathered up his hair and washed the gooey  
mess out. After rinsing with some clean water she had  
set aside, she once more picked up the soap and began  
slowly rubbing the soap all over his well muscled  
body. With his head resting between her breast,  
Gabrielle leaned over and kissed his smiling lips.  
  
"I could get used to this" he whispered.  
  
A frown crossed Gabrielle's face as she realized she  
could easily get used to this as well, but...  
  
"I will be leaving in the morning, Ares. I promised to  
meet Xena and Eve in Thrace."  
  
"They can wait!!"  
  
"NO THEY can't, Ares. As much as I would really,  
really, reeeeaally like to stay, I just can't. Tell me  
you understand."  
  
"I suppose I do. Doesn't mean I wouldn't like for it  
to be different."  
  
  
  
That night after a modest dinner Ares silently stood  
up from the table and walked outside. Gabrielle  
started to follow, but stopped herself at the door.  
"What was I thinking?" she whispered. "You were  
thinking with your libido not your brain." A voice in  
her head answered. "That's not fair! I care about  
Ares, a lot. More then I care to admit, actually."  
"Then why are you leaving him?" The voice asked.  
"Because, Because...he loves Xena"  
  
When Ares had not returned for some time, Gabrielle  
decided to go and find him. It did not take long,  
since she immediately saw the light flickering in the  
barn. Gabrielle slowly opened the door to find Ares  
sitting in the hay absently petting his dog. The sight  
of him nearly broke her heart in two.   
  
"Ares."  
  
He looked up and patted the spot beside him. She sat  
down beside him and rested her head on his chest.  
Silent tears flowed down her cheek as he raised her  
chin and kissed them away. Ares shooed the dog out and  
got up to bolt the door. As he walked back to where  
she sat he began taking off his vest. Gabrielle's  
heart beat wildly in anticipation of what was to come.  
  
ARA ARA AROOOOOOO!!  
  
Ares woke up to the grateing sound of the roosters  
crow and found himself alone. Beside him on the hay he  
found one of Gabrielle's scrolls. Silently he unrolled  
the parchment and read the note she had left.  
  
Ares,  
I'm sorry, but I had to go and I knew I would never be  
able to say goodbye face to face.   
I had a really wonderful day with you, but I know that  
you are still in love with Xena.   
I'm not sure now, knowing how I feel that I can come  
visit you again. But know this...I love you, Ares and  
I have for a very long time.   
Please take care of yourself.  
Love  
Gabrielle  
  
Ares wadded up the scroll and tossed it away.  
  
"I love you too, Gabrielle"  
  
  
  
FINI  
  



End file.
